MAKING IT PERSONAL

[Bent-Winged Angel]

In a forum such as this should personal attacks be acceptable?  Why why not? 

Do they distract from the initial topic?
Show lack of respect/civiliy? 
I had always thought (at least in my forums) that it was the job of the mods to keep the peace.  Also if you have an issue with someone wouldn,t be better to send them a private message?  Take the "high rd?"

[The Rev]

For those inclined to engage in flaming, there are plenty of great boards on the web for that.  I haven't been here that long, but from what I've seen, we've got a collection of some pretty exceptional people, both intellectually and artistically.  So, I'm kinda surprised that personal attacks are even a problem.  If there's anywhere that people should have the capacity to rise above pettiness, it should be in the smart kids club.

Then again, it was highly intelligent people who gave us the atom bomb, so maybe I'm being naive.

The Rev

[hobold]

Out on the street, should personal attacks be acceptable? Why or why not?

Don't confuse "accepted" with "offenders cannot be appropriately punished". The forum is what we make of it, and I will not make it into a hostile place, nor will I all too quickly assume that somebody else is doing so. Misunderstandings are common.

[Thunderwave]

I just think of the 4 Agreements:
1. "Be impeccable with your word"
2. "Don't take anything personally"
3. "Don't make assumptions"
4. "Always do your best"

I think of them a lot; but, it doesn't mean they are easy to follow.

[Bent-Winged Angel]

I run a few internet groups on a social networking sight. I'ts called "are you pondering what I'm pondering"  From the cartoon "Pinky & the Brain"   We have pinkies & brain's in the group Any way these are the guidlines..which gives you all an idea of how I feel about this topic.....

WELCOME TO PONDERINGS! (member info)
TO KEEP THIS A SAFE & CIVIL SANCTUARY...
**************************************** ****************
THOU SHALL NOT...
GIVE UNSOLICITED ADVICE!
JUDGE OTHERS OR THEIR TOPICS!
TROLL & OR BAIT!
POST LINKS TO OTHER FORUMS!
**************************************** ****************
Text more than 5 inches worth (extra long posts) shall be put in reply!
**************************************** ****************
Violations will result in a deleted post. Multiple violations will result in removal from group.
**************************************** ****************
Mongo & myself have decided that as the administrator's of this group, quickly deleting posts that serve only to inflame the discussion & or directly attack another member, puts the agressive posters on notice. They are denied the satisfaction of seeing their dirty work continuing to be displayed.



Now to most this seems rather strict. However it works since we have a lot of heated political debates/discusssions.  Also I have mods who uphold these guidelines.  It's rather disturbing when you will occationally find a mod who appears to be a troll.

For those inclined to engage in flaming, there are plenty of great boards on the web for that.  I haven't been here that long, but from what I've seen, we've got a collection of some pretty exceptional people, both intellectually and artistically.  So, I'm kinda surprised that personal attacks are even a problem.  If there's anywhere that people should have the capacity to rise above pettiness, it should be in the smart kids club.

Then again, it was highly intelligent people who gave us the atom bomb, so maybe I'm being naive.

The Rev

Rev just because someone has a high intellectual IQ does not mean that they have a high Emotional IQ.  Frequently the opposite is true.. If the pendulum swings from one extreme & will swing equally the other.

[David Makin]

I think here posting links to other fractal related forums should actually be encouraged rather than discouraged - though admittedly there aren't that many to reference anyway unfortunately.

[Bent-Winged Angel]

I think here posting links to other fractal related forums should actually be encouraged rather than discouraged - though admittedly there aren't that many to reference anyway unfortunately.

definately I  agree.  What I posted was from a small commmunity.  Totally different situation. I just wanted to show the other aspects as in making it personal/trolling for trouble. etc.

[Sockratease]

I run a few internet groups on a social networking sight. I'ts called "are you pondering what I'm pondering"  From the cartoon "Pinky & the Brain"   We have pinkies & brain's in the group Any way these are the guidlines..which gives you all an idea of how I feel about this topic.....

WELCOME TO PONDERINGS! (member info)
TO KEEP THIS A SAFE & CIVIL SANCTUARY...
**************************************** ****************
THOU SHALL NOT...
GIVE UNSOLICITED ADVICE!
JUDGE OTHERS OR THEIR TOPICS!
TROLL & OR BAIT!
POST LINKS TO OTHER FORUMS!
**************************************** ****************
Text more than 5 inches worth (extra long posts) shall be put in reply!
**************************************** ****************
Violations will result in a deleted post. Multiple violations will result in removal from group.
**************************************** ****************
Mongo & myself have decided that as the administrator's of this group, quickly deleting posts that serve only to inflame the discussion & or directly attack another member, puts the agressive posters on notice. They are denied the satisfaction of seeing their dirty work continuing to be displayed.



Now to most this seems rather strict. However it works since we have a lot of heated political debates/discusssions.  Also I have mods who uphold these guidelines.  It's rather disturbing when you will occationally find a mod who appears to be a troll. ...

I could never join any forum with rules like those!

I run a few forums  (only a Moderator here, and most of what I do is keep spambots away, but I'm the whole thing at a few others!) and have learned that over moderation does nobody any good.

It's nonsensical.  People argue.  It's normal and nothing to be quelled.  Let it happen, just don't let it go on and on too long.  Once both sides have stated their case, and only if it goes into repetition, then let a mod step in and ask for it to stop.  But never at the first sign of dissent.  It's not right to even try and create a falsely sterile environment.

No links to other forums sound like repression to me.  I can't even begin to fathom the logic behind that one. Unless it's forums hosting illegal materials!

How do you measure "5 inches" of text?  Different computers and different monitor resolutions will make that measurement meaningless.  If you must limit people's speech - try limiting the number of characters per post  (every forum software I ever used has that option).

And deleting people's posts is just wrong.  It's part of what happened.  Smacks of rewriting history to me  (Never wise!).

And the bit about not giving feedback to people's posts makes no sense at all!!  Why would anyone post something, Anything, if they are not willing to get feedback and hear other people's opinions?

Finally, using words like "baiting" "trolling" and "flaming" should be avoided.  They only have meaning to those familiar with internet slang.  The language used should be written for all, not just those "Hip to your lingo."

We are supposed to be adults here.  If somebody can't handle feedback they don't want to hear, they should stop associating with other people.  At every level.  Until they grow up.

That's just my opinion, and not that of the admin here (or probably anyone else here).  But it's how I feel and I am compelled to post it here! 

[Bent-Winged Angel]

FRACTAL FORUMS "DO'S & DON'TS  .....(i LIKE THEM)   

http://www.fractalforums.com/board-rules/do's-and-don't-do's/

[Wel lEnTaoed]

In a forum such as this should personal attacks be acceptable?  Why why not? 

Do they distract from the initial topic?
Show lack of respect/civiliy? 
I had always thought (at least in my forums) that it was the job of the mods to keep the peace.  Also if you have an issue with someone wouldn,t be better to send them a private message?  Take the "high rd?"

YES
YES
&
YES!

But then isn't everyon's God given right to make a complete petty, pissy, feral pussy out of themselves?

[Tex Arcana]

I don't think there's anything wrong with expressing a negative opinion, per se - disagreement is ultimately one of the things that drives Mankind forwards IMO.  I've often found that disagreeing with somebody calls me to examine my own views in greater detail and sometimes even modify them as a result.  Sometimes

One little piece of advice I picked up on another, sometimes boisterous forum was: Attack The Post, Not The Poster.  It's served me very well over the years.

That said, I think that Taking It Personal can cause just as many problems...

[HGHMaxwell]

Yeah i agree..but please tell us how can we get peace?....

[Bent-Winged Angel]

By practicing the golden rule.  Sadly a lost art in the US.   

[jehovajah]

I think manners and fellow feeling are important, and the ability to be polite.

Disagreement is common and so is misunderstanding. The intention is not conveyed by word alone, hence the smileys do help. Frankness and openess must not be rewarded by sarcasm, and if a member complains of hurt copious amounts of unctious balm should be readily applied!

Allowance for personality, style and humour should be made and any serious disagreement should be moderated quickly and privately with mediation offered.

I think it right to complain and right to explain, not helpful to use words loosely, especially when the situation is inflamed and for all to recognise their own hypocrisy, and give allowance thereby.

In short the golden rule plus doing to others what they would like done to them!

If someone, being more mature, thinks they recognise signs of immaturity, then let them use wisdom, fitting to their maturity, not coercive pedagogy! The wise person sees lots and says little, but what s/he says does lots and hurts little!