You're right! I could have even just posted that instead. And can see I forgot to mention that going full speed straight to the CPU with the Assembly language assembler is like saving time on a long trip by putting the gas pedal to the floor and not letting it up until you get there. The slightest error in aiming causes an immediate and sometimes spectacular crashing of the entire system. But there is no faster way to get there, so sometimes we just have to strap ourselves in real tight then hope for the best.
Assembly
You try to shoot yourself in the foot only to discover that you must first invent the gun, the bullet, the trigger, and your foot.
You crash the OS and overwrite the root disk. The system administrator arrives and shoots you in the foot. After a moment of contemplation, the system administrator shoots himself in the foot and then hops around the room rapidly shooting at everyone in sight.
By the time you've written the gun, you are dead, and don't have to worry about shooting your feet. Alternatively, you shoot and miss, but don't notice.
Using only 7 bytes of code, you blow off your entire leg in only 2 CPU clock ticks.
MS-DOS
You finally find the gun, but you can't find the file with the bullets for the life of you.
You shoot yourself in the foot, but you can unshoot yourself with add-on software.
Lisp
You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you shoot...
You attempt to shoot yourself in the foot, but the gun jams on a stray parenthesis.
PostScript
foot bullets 6 locate loadgun aimgun shoot showpage
Visual Basic
You'll only appear to have shot yourself in the foot, but you'll have so much fun doing it you won't care.
You do a Google search on how to shoot yourself in the foot using Visual Basic. You find seventeen completely different ways to do it, none of which are properly structured. You paste the first example into the IDE and compile. It brushes your teeth.
.NET
You can now shoot yourself in the foot with any of fourteen weapons, ranging from an antique medieval crossbow to a laser-guided Destructo-Beam. However, all these weapons must be manufactured by Microsoft and you must pay Microsoft royalties every time you shoot yourself in the foot.
Java
You write a program to shoot yourself in the foot and put it on the Internet. People all over the world shoot themselves in the foot, and everyone leaves your website hobbling and cursing.
You amputate your foot at the ankle with a fourteen-pound hacksaw, but you can do it on any platform.
JavaScript
You find that Microsoft and Sun have released incompatible class libraries both implementing Gun objects. You then find that although there are plenty of Foot objects implemented in the past in many other languages, you cannot get access to one. But, seeing as JavaScript is so cool, you don't care and go around shooting anything else you can find.
Although they missed Turbo Basic, Power Basic and a few others I have experience with that actually does sum it all up very well.
xD
Nice
Now, go, learn form that and do it better xD
j/k
Yes, I have done enough hobbling and cursing from websites and finally have something to shoot myself in the foot with using Eclipse which is like a scatter-gun that thus far made little yellow and red holes in all programs it has so far successfully loaded. But it comes with a little nanny-nurse to help patch some of them up, which is better than not having one so it's at least a little less painful that way.
October 19, 2006, 05:22:58 PM
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